virborassan | (no subject)

She knew she'd messed up. She'd let someone too close and while she still wanted him there, close, by her side, she'd gone and messed things up. Josephine had been right. So had Leliana. Keep your emotions as close as you'd keep an enemy. Close to your chest, hidden away.

She didn't want to be foolish again, so she'd carefully distanced herself from Jove. No more evenings, plied with wine and loving words. No more slips of the tongue. Not while the mantle of the Inquisitor was growing heavier and heavier with each day. Oh, don't think she didn't find herself watching him from a distance when she could, when she didn't think she'd be caught. In the back of her mind, she wondered if the distance had bothered him. It did her, but she couldn't let it show.

Not when they had work to do.

Early one morning, she'd been called for a War Council and it had lasted a good chunk of the day. When she emerged, her face was like the storm she could bend to her will. Pages stopped to deliver things only to step back when they saw the thunderous face of the Herald. Frowning, she slipped outside and onto the battlements, seeking space and fresh, cool air help her think.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

From:

virborassan

"Is it?"

With a sigh, she turned and set the report down on her desk, next to the note with Jove's name scrawled on it. For a long moment, she reached down to trace some of her lettering before dropping her hand to rest limp at her side.

"I don't feel right like this. I was hoping to come back, triumphant and things would be right again but this... this isn't it. I don't know how to fix this or if it even can be fixed. I just... don't know what to do."

From:

weatherthestorm

"And what is right?" he asked, crossing his arms over his chest. "Things cannot be as they once were. We both must adjust to the change. It won't be easy but... you wanted this."

It is as simple as that to him. She put them here and only she can decide where they go next. If she was willing to give them another chance he would be more cautious and careful because he could not stand to have her turn away again.

From:

virborassan

"This wasn't what I wanted."

The words were barely audible as she let her shoulders slump a bit. There was no way to miss how tired she was after the events of the day. It made her look even smaller than she was and for once, all her power could do nothing to help her.

It didn't help that tears were threatening to slip free again but this time, she made no effort to hide them. Hadn't all this happened because she refused to admit and allow for weakness?

"I just want... you. I'll never stop wanting you, but I understand if you can't return the sentiment anymore."

From:

weatherthestorm

That lifted a weight from his heart and Jove felt like he could breathe again. She wasn't determined to stay the course and stay away from him.

"Can't return it?" He walked towards her and touched her, trailing the back of his hand down her cheek. "I have no choice. My feelings have not faded or changed. Three weeks is not enough time to forget how I feel about you."

It would have taken months, years, maybe to forget how she made him feel.

From:

virborassan

Weeks of tension started to bleed from her muscles at his touch. She hadn't realized just how much she'd missed that simple contact, not to mention the relief at hearing his voice as she'd remembered. With a soft sigh, she let herself lean into that gentle contact. Normally, she'd be smiling at something so sweet but there were no smiles at the moment.

"Of course you have a choice. Perhaps not about what you feel but choosing to show it. I've been so so foolish lately..."

From:

weatherthestorm

"What has my choice always been?" he asked gently.

She should know the answer. It was what it had always been and would always be if she chose to allow it. His heart was hers, though it was a fragile thing now.

From:

virborassan

It was a relief, to know his feelings hadn't changed. Things still felt a bit disjointed between them, but she now knew it wasn't something that couldn't be fixed. As ragged around the edges as she was, it was the best she'd felt in weeks.

With a sigh, she finally let herself move just enough to wrap her fingers around his wrist. She didn't dare push for anything else, but there was no way to miss that she hadn't tried to push his hand away, either.

"Would you truly want this, again? With me?"

From:

weatherthestorm

"I would ask that you talk to me more especially when you're afraid. I do not want to wake up one morning and suddenly you're gone again."

His heart would not survive that again. It would hurt too much, break too much within him. He could not and would not be suddenly abandoned again.

This was a step in the right direction. The ground felt normal underneath him again. He would hate for that to change.

From:

virborassan

He was asking a lot of her, even if it didn't seem like it. She was raised to keep that kind of thing private. How could a Keeper be expected to lead or to to protect her people if she couldn't master herself?

After a long, quiet moment, she let his hand go, but stayed where she was. There was no move to retreat or turn away, only to absently scratch at a bandage on her arm.

"I'll do my best. It'll be an adjustment, though. If something's bothering me like that, you'll know it."

From:

weatherthestorm

"I'm not expecting you to change overnight," he said with a little smile. "I merely wish you to try. It will help us both."

He leaned down and gently brushed his lips against her temple. It had been a long time since he did that.

"I should leave you to rest though. You've had a very rough day."

From:

virborassan

Normally, she would've turned enough to try and catch a kiss from Jove but this time, it felt a bit awkward. If that were to happen again, it would take time and as much as she's ached for him, she wouldn't push things too quickly. Beside that, she was far too tired to such things, if they just happened to progress past kissing.

For what felt like the first time in weeks, the smile on her face was genuine. Tired and small, but genuine.

"As nice as that sounds, I've got too much to do to rest for now. I will put some of it off, though, so I can go talk to Solas and try and soothe his ruffled feathers, so to speak."

From:

weatherthestorm

"Remember to get some sleep. I will send a servant up with food and drink. You can work and take care of yourself."

A kiss would be nice but he was going to be more cautious this time and careful. Perhaps his speed and enthusiasm for things scared her the first time. Jove would be more careful.

He drew back from her, smiling softly. They would be better soon. Not the same but better, healed.

From:

virborassan

Kissing was nice, but she would be more than willing to wait until things were better between them once again. She knew how fragile things were at the moment and had no desire to hurt him again or jeopardize what they were working for.

When he pulled away, she was still smiling and for once this evening, she finally let herself truly look at him.

"Sleep might be interesting for a while, but I'll try."

From:

weatherthestorm

He bowed to her instead of saluting like a soldier. Once again, he was more her Templar and not simply her companion. He felt more comfortable, more at ease than he had in quite some time.

"I wish you well, dear." He did, he honestly did. He wanted her to rest, to be well, and to fix these things between them slowly and let them heal.

From:

virborassan

The endearment made her smile inch a bit higher. While still a bit strained, there was hope again and she found herself grasping hard at that. For now, this was enough. This was good.

"Go on, before I find another way to keep you here longer."

Head ducking, she bit back a soft chuckle and bowed her head to him before turning back to her work.

[ooc: Shall we continue?]

From:

weatherthestorm

[ooc: how would you like to continue?]

From:

virborassan

Any ideas?

From:

weatherthestorm

Not really. We could do something post Coryph dead.

From:

virborassan

I'd be good with that. Did you want to start something?

From:

weatherthestorm

I am making dinner so you'll have to wait or start something and I'll tag after. :D

From:

virborassan

I can start something once I'm home. Some ideas I've got are drunk party/makeouts, formal ball oh god why you do this to me Josie, and her traveling to finally get her vallaslin. Or one of them actually gets hurt thanks to a visit by an assassins or some such.

Edited Date: 2015-02-10 01:10 pm (UTC)

From:

weatherthestorm

Sorry, I got a little drunk with roomies last night and completely forgot to reply to this. Curse you rum.

Any of those sound good to me. Pick whichever.