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[virborassan]

She knew she'd messed up. She'd let someone too close and while she still wanted him there, close, by her side, she'd gone and messed things up. Josephine had been right. So had Leliana. Keep your emotions as close as you'd keep an enemy. Close to your chest, hidden away.

She didn't want to be foolish again, so she'd carefully distanced herself from Jove. No more evenings, plied with wine and loving words. No more slips of the tongue. Not while the mantle of the Inquisitor was growing heavier and heavier with each day. Oh, don't think she didn't find herself watching him from a distance when she could, when she didn't think she'd be caught. In the back of her mind, she wondered if the distance had bothered him. It did her, but she couldn't let it show.

Not when they had work to do.

Early one morning, she'd been called for a War Council and it had lasted a good chunk of the day. When she emerged, her face was like the storm she could bend to her will. Pages stopped to deliver things only to step back when they saw the thunderous face of the Herald. Frowning, she slipped outside and onto the battlements, seeking space and fresh, cool air help her think.

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[weatherthestorm]

"And do you feel better taking this on your own?" he asked, his voice a heavy, low, growl. "Do you feel stronger pushing away someone who loves you? Pushing away people who can help you not make mistakes? You don't want any of this, fine, but don't think doing it alone makes you stronger."

He paced towards her, a wall, making her deal with him perhaps he should have done it soon.

"Bit by bit you've taken down each and every one of Coryphous' advisers and forces. You've made him weaker by doing so. Why do you think that doing the same for yourself will make you stronger?"

[virborassan]

She'd turned and there he was, so close she could almost touch him and it was a damn good thing her hands were clenched together or else she would've. If it would've been to push him away or pull him closer, she had no idea. Both sounded equally appealing at the moment.

For once, she stepped away from him, one single step as she shook her head with a scowl.

"No. I don't. I don't and I know it was stupid. I was afraid and I made foolish choices and damn it all, I wish I could make you understand wh-"

Step by step, she fell back at his advance until her back hit the wall, her words fading as she felt the cool stone behind her.

[weatherthestorm]

"Then fix it," he said, his voice hard as steel. "Mistakes happen to everyone. It doesn't make you weak it makes you human. Begin to ask for help when you need it. Realize you do not have to do this alone."

It was on the tip of his tongue to say she should love him again but he refused to force that on to her. Three weeks was not enough time for his feelings to dull. It would take time as he knew his heart would stay loyal for a long time.

"You have learned a lesson, do not ignore it."

[virborassan]

He wouldn't have to say it. She still did and would continue to do so for quite some time. It wasn't so easy to turn off even if she'd pushed him away out of foolish fears and self-doubt. When she looked up, there was still a hint of bruised pride in her gaze but even now, she couldn't quite look right at him.

"... I won't. I'll talk to Solas later, once I've looked over the reports you've brought me."

[weatherthestorm]

"Good. Good." His voice was softer now, gentle, a hint of the old Jove when they were alone. "Don't go back on that. You'll be stronger for it."

He resists the urge to touch her and steps back instead. He did not need to pressure her further to listen to him.

"The only important report is the reorders needed for medical supplies."

[virborassan]

The sound of the voice she remembered was what made her actually look at him. Gaze heavy, she watched him step back away from her and for a moment, the urge was there. She wanted to tell him she'd missed him, but she couldn't. She wasn't sure if fear or pride kept the words from finding shape.

It took her a moment to push away from the wall, her gaze once again on the floor as she crossed to her desk. It was no surprise to see the reorder request on top of the pile he'd brought her and for an instant, she smiled faintly as she leaned in to read it over. It left her leaning over the desk, hands flat against the grain as she tried to concentrate on the words on the report and not the other person in the room.

She was still far too aware of him.

"Understood. I'll make sure to take care of it first."

[weatherthestorm]

"Do, because the ravens have been sent and your soldiers will be coming home. You'll need the supplies." He stayed where he was, near the cooler air which would hopefully cool the riot of emotions within.

So close and yet so far. He had said his piece and let her know how he felt. Yet, she was still there, on her own. Perhaps that was truly what she wished and he was no longer what she wanted.

A horrible thought because he certainly still wanted her.

[virborassan]

Nodding, she scanned the report, pausing to reread a part. She didn't even notice that she'd turned back around and settled the small of her back against the desk, facing Jove as she read. Before she could stop herself, she chuckled softly, shaking her head.

"... I've never noticed how neat your script is. I appreciate it being so precise. Hasn't Josephine said anything? I'm sure she'd be happy to put you to use for formal correspondence since mine looks like a nug dragging a stick through the mud."

She chanced a glance up and her gaze found him without her even meaning to. There was hesitation there, dulling her usual spark, and a hint of wariness as she watched him.

"Thank you. For all of this. I knew the Inquisition was in good hands while I was gone."

[weatherthestorm]

"I would've rather been in the field but you're welcome." It still felt like a punishment to be left behind, as if she didn't trust him. Josephine could've handled all that needed to be done without him.

It was too late to change that now. He felt this would not be the last time he was left to manage Skyhold either. At least the work brought a sense of satisfaction.

"You will have to speak with her. She is quite protective of her writings. I think she would prefer to write things herself."

[virborassan]

That small smile faded pretty quickly. She'd been trying to offer something small, something that might bring a brief smile to his face but once again, she'd failed. Her hesitation increased with each silent breath between them and she found she had to loosen her hand from where she'd clenched it on the report she'd been trying to lighten the mood with.

"... you won't be stuck here again. I give you my word. I... missed you while I was gone."

She wasn't sure what she would do if he turned that back on her.

[weatherthestorm]

He looked down at his hands, hands that used to hold her and calm her. This was a moment when he would comfort her. That was before she walked away from him.

"I miss you," he admitted softly. "It is good to have you back."

It was so much more than missing her but that was the closest word Jove had for what he felt. It wasn't accurate but it was the truth.

[virborassan]

"Is it?"

With a sigh, she turned and set the report down on her desk, next to the note with Jove's name scrawled on it. For a long moment, she reached down to trace some of her lettering before dropping her hand to rest limp at her side.

"I don't feel right like this. I was hoping to come back, triumphant and things would be right again but this... this isn't it. I don't know how to fix this or if it even can be fixed. I just... don't know what to do."

[weatherthestorm]

"And what is right?" he asked, crossing his arms over his chest. "Things cannot be as they once were. We both must adjust to the change. It won't be easy but... you wanted this."

It is as simple as that to him. She put them here and only she can decide where they go next. If she was willing to give them another chance he would be more cautious and careful because he could not stand to have her turn away again.

[virborassan]

"This wasn't what I wanted."

The words were barely audible as she let her shoulders slump a bit. There was no way to miss how tired she was after the events of the day. It made her look even smaller than she was and for once, all her power could do nothing to help her.

It didn't help that tears were threatening to slip free again but this time, she made no effort to hide them. Hadn't all this happened because she refused to admit and allow for weakness?

"I just want... you. I'll never stop wanting you, but I understand if you can't return the sentiment anymore."

[weatherthestorm]

That lifted a weight from his heart and Jove felt like he could breathe again. She wasn't determined to stay the course and stay away from him.

"Can't return it?" He walked towards her and touched her, trailing the back of his hand down her cheek. "I have no choice. My feelings have not faded or changed. Three weeks is not enough time to forget how I feel about you."

It would have taken months, years, maybe to forget how she made him feel.

[virborassan]

Weeks of tension started to bleed from her muscles at his touch. She hadn't realized just how much she'd missed that simple contact, not to mention the relief at hearing his voice as she'd remembered. With a soft sigh, she let herself lean into that gentle contact. Normally, she'd be smiling at something so sweet but there were no smiles at the moment.

"Of course you have a choice. Perhaps not about what you feel but choosing to show it. I've been so so foolish lately..."

[weatherthestorm]

"What has my choice always been?" he asked gently.

She should know the answer. It was what it had always been and would always be if she chose to allow it. His heart was hers, though it was a fragile thing now.

[virborassan]

It was a relief, to know his feelings hadn't changed. Things still felt a bit disjointed between them, but she now knew it wasn't something that couldn't be fixed. As ragged around the edges as she was, it was the best she'd felt in weeks.

With a sigh, she finally let herself move just enough to wrap her fingers around his wrist. She didn't dare push for anything else, but there was no way to miss that she hadn't tried to push his hand away, either.

"Would you truly want this, again? With me?"

[weatherthestorm]

"I would ask that you talk to me more especially when you're afraid. I do not want to wake up one morning and suddenly you're gone again."

His heart would not survive that again. It would hurt too much, break too much within him. He could not and would not be suddenly abandoned again.

This was a step in the right direction. The ground felt normal underneath him again. He would hate for that to change.

[virborassan]

He was asking a lot of her, even if it didn't seem like it. She was raised to keep that kind of thing private. How could a Keeper be expected to lead or to to protect her people if she couldn't master herself?

After a long, quiet moment, she let his hand go, but stayed where she was. There was no move to retreat or turn away, only to absently scratch at a bandage on her arm.

"I'll do my best. It'll be an adjustment, though. If something's bothering me like that, you'll know it."

[weatherthestorm]

"I'm not expecting you to change overnight," he said with a little smile. "I merely wish you to try. It will help us both."

He leaned down and gently brushed his lips against her temple. It had been a long time since he did that.

"I should leave you to rest though. You've had a very rough day."

[virborassan]

Normally, she would've turned enough to try and catch a kiss from Jove but this time, it felt a bit awkward. If that were to happen again, it would take time and as much as she's ached for him, she wouldn't push things too quickly. Beside that, she was far too tired to such things, if they just happened to progress past kissing.

For what felt like the first time in weeks, the smile on her face was genuine. Tired and small, but genuine.

"As nice as that sounds, I've got too much to do to rest for now. I will put some of it off, though, so I can go talk to Solas and try and soothe his ruffled feathers, so to speak."

[weatherthestorm]

"Remember to get some sleep. I will send a servant up with food and drink. You can work and take care of yourself."

A kiss would be nice but he was going to be more cautious this time and careful. Perhaps his speed and enthusiasm for things scared her the first time. Jove would be more careful.

He drew back from her, smiling softly. They would be better soon. Not the same but better, healed.

[virborassan]

Kissing was nice, but she would be more than willing to wait until things were better between them once again. She knew how fragile things were at the moment and had no desire to hurt him again or jeopardize what they were working for.

When he pulled away, she was still smiling and for once this evening, she finally let herself truly look at him.

"Sleep might be interesting for a while, but I'll try."

[weatherthestorm]

He bowed to her instead of saluting like a soldier. Once again, he was more her Templar and not simply her companion. He felt more comfortable, more at ease than he had in quite some time.

"I wish you well, dear." He did, he honestly did. He wanted her to rest, to be well, and to fix these things between them slowly and let them heal.