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[virborassan]

She knew she'd messed up. She'd let someone too close and while she still wanted him there, close, by her side, she'd gone and messed things up. Josephine had been right. So had Leliana. Keep your emotions as close as you'd keep an enemy. Close to your chest, hidden away.

She didn't want to be foolish again, so she'd carefully distanced herself from Jove. No more evenings, plied with wine and loving words. No more slips of the tongue. Not while the mantle of the Inquisitor was growing heavier and heavier with each day. Oh, don't think she didn't find herself watching him from a distance when she could, when she didn't think she'd be caught. In the back of her mind, she wondered if the distance had bothered him. It did her, but she couldn't let it show.

Not when they had work to do.

Early one morning, she'd been called for a War Council and it had lasted a good chunk of the day. When she emerged, her face was like the storm she could bend to her will. Pages stopped to deliver things only to step back when they saw the thunderous face of the Herald. Frowning, she slipped outside and onto the battlements, seeking space and fresh, cool air help her think.

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[weatherthestorm]

Something was wrong. Jove didn't know what it was but something wrong between him and Elareth.

He tried to be respectful of her boundaries, give her space and allow her to focus on her duties but it was difficult. He missed her company, missed her laughter and her presence.

It was luck or perhaps the Maker's will that he spotted her standing on the walls of the castle. He took a deep breath, straightened his shoulders and walked up to her with confidence.

"My lady," he said, his tone determined. "Do you have a minute?"

[virborassan]

For you, more than a minute.

That was the voice she both wanted and dreaded hearing. It made her determination waver and more than anything, she wanted to turn and bury her face against his chest but she couldn't. Not now. She'd already allowed him to turn her into a sappy, foolish little girl and for the moment, that was something she couldn't allow.

In the back of her mind, she absently wished she'd chosen to take in some fresh air on her balcony, where people couldn't see her. If that had been the case, he wouldn't have been able to see her.

Damn.

After a moment of closed eyes and calm breath, she straightened and turned to face him, every inch the Inquisitor.

"A few but time is short, I'm afraid. I have preparations to make. What did you need?"

[weatherthestorm]

He had not heard of a new operation getting underway and it made him scowl. Would she keep that from him? No, he couldn't believe she would do that.

"I merely wish to apologize for whatever offense I have committed against you," he said calmly. "And I will not trouble you further during these trying times."

It seemed fairly clear to him that whatever was between them perhaps was not what he thought. She needed to focus on the Inquisition, obviously, and did not have time for him and his heart.

Perhaps when this was all over he would have another chance. He would maintain his presence at her side, as much as it pained him to be so close and yet distant.

"If you have need of me, you know where to find me."

[virborassan]

Hearing that tone from him was cruel to her. To any passerby, it sounded like a calm discussion but she knew him all too well. She'd hurt him and that had been the last thing she'd wanted to do, especially with her own foolishness. She would take on Corypheus and his entire army for his sake alone, if she had to, but this? This was what hurt.

For a moment, her lips pursed and there was a flicker of something in her gaze. It might be regret or maybe even fear, but she knew there would likely be loneliness there and she hated it. She missed him so much.

But she couldn't be soft right now.

"You've committed no offense, Jove. Things are just strained right now. We're about to be leaving to face Samson and the planning has been... tedious."

Time consuming as well. She hadn't slept much since the last night they'd been together.

"I wanted to talk to you about the operation, actually."

He wasn't going to like it. That much she knew.

[weatherthestorm]

He stood before her as a loyal soldier, not her lover, with his shoulders straight and his arms folded behind his back. Regret would come later, after, when he was alone. Perhaps Varric would accompany him to the tavern for a night of drinking and drowning sorrows.

"Of course," he said with a small nod. "What would you like to discuss?"

He did not know what she wished to talk about but she did not seem pleased by the conversation.

Neither of them seemed happy anymore and he was tempted to yell at her, to fight but she did not need his selfish desires on top of everything.

[virborassan]

Maybe she'd been wrong. Maybe he didn't miss her. He certainly seemed like he couldn't care less as of late. It stung her pride as much as it stung her heart and the weight of it all settled heavy in her chest. The sight of him there, standing like just another soldier under her command made her heart sink when all she wanted to do was reach out and touch his face, to ease away that hard line she saw tensing his jaw.

She wished to see him smile again, but she knew he wouldn't. Not anymore. It was clear that he didn't care. Maybe the wine had loosened his tongue as well. It would almost be a relief if he'd argue with her about it. At least she'd know he cared enough to.

No more. She couldn't afford it. Not when each second spent with him there, close enough to touch, made her waver in her duty.

"We're leaving in the morning before she sun rises. You're staying here while Cullen accompanies me."

[weatherthestorm]

His jaw clenched tight for a moment. Cullen? The Commander? Who some days was so taken by withdrawal that he couldn't hold a sword.

"And you think that's best?" he asked, his voice tight. His temper would not help things here. He would not allow it to rule him. "I know he has a personal interest in this mission but is he strong enough?"

Maybe it wasn't about Cullen's health but their personal relationship. Did she not want him around as a reminder? Was she trying to protect him? Maker, he hated being unsure of this, of them and of her.

[virborassan]

Oh, she knew that tone as well and for a moment, her blood ran hot in her veins. Elareth wanted to do what she could to try and calm him but the Inquisitor in her felt her ire rise at his tone. Drawing herself up, she crossed her arms over her chest and leveled a dead stare at her lover- or was it former lover? Would this be the weight that they couldn't stand?

"Are you questioning my decisions? I can promise you, they weren't made by some love struck child, as so many seem to think I am as of late. I chose you to stay behind for many reasons. I don't see the need to share them with you but I will, just to still your doubts. One, yes, he does have a personal stake in this mission. If he comes with the forces we're taking, he can be watched over and to be honest, I think he deserves the chance to do this. Two, if things go badly and we fall to Samson, the Inquisition's forces will need a new commander and I can think of no one more qualified than you. Three. I will need my full attention on this fight. Dagna's rune will help but we're expecting heavy resistance. I can't afford to have someone close to me to be captured. Not again."

[weatherthestorm]

"I am not some child fresh to the battlefield," he hissed, taking a step towards her and his calm dissolving quickly. "What you feel for me cannot be the reason for you to keep me from the fight. Loss is the price of this and one apparently you have asked me to pay by going off when I am forced to stay behind. Make up whatever excuses you wish for this but I have born the cost for you."

She would go have her battle with her soldiers and he would spend days, weeks, waiting for news if they succeeded or died. And she expected him to take over if she was gone? He was livid by the idea of it but he had no place to question anymore. His advice, his feelings were not welcomed anymore.

He stepped back from her and saluted. "But, as you say, Inquisitor. It is no business of mine."

[virborassan]

The force of his anger actually made her take a step back and for a moment, there was doubt and worry in her gaze. It hurt to hear him like this and she found she had to clench her hands at her side to keep them there and away from him.

But no. There was no real need. He stepped away and saluted her as any good soldier would and the motion felt fatalistically final. She knew, now, that this was it. Even if she were to reach out to him, he wouldn't accept such things from her anymore. For now, all she could do was move against Corypheus to make certain those she cared about were safe. She just couldn't allow herself to show that.

It just hurt too much now.

Her gaze dropped, sliding along the rough stone of the battlement before she stepped as if to leave. Three steps, then she paused, head hanging and shoulders hunched as if already weary.

"I know it isn't enough, but I'm sorry. Please, excuse me. I have to prepare..."

Before she could make any more of a fool of herself, she moved to walk away, her steps as quick as she could make them without actually running. She would never run.

[weatherthestorm]

As she walked away he stood in stoney silence and let her go. This was her decision. She stepped away first. She chose work and responsibilities over finding a balance. The rumors won, whatever rumors she heard. Love should not have made her feel foolish or less.

If she was leaving him behind for her final battle he would make sure the damn Keep would keep going. He turned sharply on his heel and marched to find the Ambassador who was easy to deal with.

He would be the Templar everyone expected him to be since clearly, he was not allowed to be anything or anyone else.

[virborassan]

Sleep never found her that night, so she was up and out early, goading the rest of her companions into leaving as early as possible. Her mood wasn't the same as it had been since her estrangement with Jove. Before, it had been focused and sharp but now, she was clearly tired and looked it. If questioned, she'd brush them off but a few in her inner circle were worried. Cullen might have his hands full with his troops, but they all knew her far too well.

The were gone for three weeks. Each day, ravens were sent with news. If Samson intercepted one and found out they were coming, then so be it. There were other things sent as well, notes to friends and family and such. Elareth had one she'd written to Jove, both heartfelt apology as well as full explanation. If something happened to her, each member of her inner circle were instructed to make certain it was sent off without delay. She had no hope of him actually reading it if he received it, but she had to try.

When they arrived, they discovered they were wrong about Samson's goals and set about stopping them. Elareth worked with single-minded determination. Plans were made and changed in a heartbeat and she found herself coming into her own as a commander. Each bit of ground was a fight and fight they did, but soon enough, they found themselves at the temple proper and boy, was it a wake up call for the young Dalish woman.

In the end, Samson fell after a hard battle. She'd ordered him bound and carted off for trial before going to see what all the fuss was about.

She never imagined having to argue with not only one of her advisers, but a good chunk of her inner circle about her decisions. Solas was angry over it and Bull was even left shaking his head a bit but in the end, the choice was hers, as was the risk it offered. She stepped into the well after hearing Abelas' warnings and as soon as her cupped hands hit her lips, everything changed. After that, it was all a bit of a blur. A painful one, but that was only understandable.

She heard a scream of rage behind her and turned to see Corypheus there and the only thing on her oddly overfull mind was to run. Morrigan urged everyone into the eluvian and a nauseating few moments later, the small group she'd taken into the temple with her tumbled out into the spare room in Skyhold that Morrigan had been using to store her own elven artifact.

[weatherthestorm]

Three weeks of running Skyhold and not a single letter came for him. None that were personal, that was. Jove recieved letters on progress, when to expect injured soldiers and what supplies they needed sent to the front. It was frustrating. His friends were off fighting a war and he received no news of them besides that none were injured and none had died.

It was a crash from a side room outside the war room that broke the tension. Jove charged out the door with his sword drawn, ready for a fight. It was no one to fight. Elareth, the Inner Circle and Morrigan stumbled out of a mirror.

"Guards, bring a healer and send word to the front the Inquisitor has returned!" he shouted as he rushed forward to help Elareth to her feet.

[virborassan]

Her head was still swimming enough that gaining her feet wasn't an easy task. Without thinking, she let herself cling to Jove and even after she was back upright, she didn't let go. He was there and warm and solid and damn it all, her head was too full. Blinking slowly, she looked around, then glanced back over at her companions. Most of them received grateful looks but Morrigan... oh, she was faced with a frosty glare before she actually looked around the room.

She'd finally realized where she was at.

"Morrigan. We will have words. Later. As for now... I'm finding a spot to sit down."

[weatherthestorm]

Not once does it occur to him to push her away. All his bitter, angry thoughts fly away in the concern for her.

"Come on now." He lifted her easily, almost carrying her in his arms as he led her away from the chaos to the Ambassador's office with its comfortable chairs.

He sat her in one of the chairs and knelt in front of her. He forgot himself and gently brushed some of her hair away from her temple.

[virborassan]

Each passing breath helped her order her scattered thoughts but his touch sent them all skittering away again. The time after she'd left had helped her settle a few things in her mind about them, which was why she had written the letter to him.

Creators, she'd missed him and for a moment, it was as if nothing had changed between them.

It took her a moment to realize that he'd called for a healer but once she had, she murmured that she didn't think it was necessary. Her head hadn't cleared as much as she'd liked but she figured it was a side effect of the Well.

"We stopped Samson but Corypheus came after us. Morrigan pulled us out."

[weatherthestorm]

If she thought he would call off the healer she had lost her mind. He ignored her request and nodded to the guard who hovered near by. He nodded in return and left to find a healer.

"Good, you can write a full report another time," he said sternly. "Stay put until you get your senses back."

As she did not seem fit to lead at the moment he kept himself in command of things.

[virborassan]

What?

Frowning a bit, she finally, truly let herself look at him and before she could think, relief washed through her. She was hard pressed to keep from hugging him. She would've, but she didn't figure it would be welcome.

Reaching up, she absently rubbed at her forehead as if trying to ease a headache.

"It's really not necessary. I'm... alright. A bit mixed up but whole."

[weatherthestorm]

"When a healer has confirmed that statement I will let you do what you wish but not a moment sooner."

There was iron in his voice, as solid and sure as his shield. He would not have her running off and running around until she was cleared by a healer.

The whole damn war council would wait as far as he was concerned. They had apparently won the day, so no need to rush off and do anything else.

[virborassan]

She wasn't sure she'd ever heard him so... demanding. It tugged at her attention, pulling her a bit more out of the murmuring fog trying to cloud her mind again. For a moment, she looked like she was about to argue but paused, head tipped a little as if listening. For a moment, she remained like that before leaning forward with a pinched expression and a sigh, rubbing at her neck.

"As you wish. Just please make sure someone sends a raven as soon as possible. I'm going to my quarters. I'm sure the healer can find me there."

[weatherthestorm]

He snapped his fingers at another lurking guard. "Escort her. If something goes wrong you carry her to the surgeon."

He was used to being in charge, clearly, and would not be ignored. Luckily, the guards have gotten used to taking orders for him.

The guard approached and offered his arm to the Inquisitor in case she needed it. Jove stood back and let her go. There was more business to attend to, like the other companions and spending ravens. He would deal with that while the healers dealt with her.

[virborassan]

Oh, no. No. He did not-

Scowling, she pulled herself to her feet and pushed past the guard and only by sheer force of will did she remain upright. It gave her energy she hadn't had before, and add on a healthy dose of humiliation as well as a good chunk of anger, she actually managed to almost get to the door of Josephine's office rather quickly.

"I will not be ordered around in the keep I found for this thrice damned Inquisition and I will not be ordered around by you. I will go to my quarters as I said I would and I will allow a healer to check on me there. If my word isn't good enough for you, then have me thrown in a cell until you think you can trust me."

[weatherthestorm]

"I don't give a rat's ass about your pride, your worship, I care about your health," he growled, unafraid of her anger. "Go with her and make sure she doesn't crack her head open on the damned stairs."

The guard did not look happy with how he was brought in to the middle of this but Jove cared very little for his comfort. Elareth was ignoring her health and well being from pride and he would not tolerate it.

What did he have to lose, after all?

[virborassan]

Oh, now that stung and more than her pride. Scowling, she pushed at the door and shoved her way through it, and if the guard was following her, then so be it. She wasn't exactly grace on her feet but she was determined to get to her room without assistance. If she fell over, then so be it but she wouldn't allow it until the damned guard was gone from her sight.

She made it up the stairs without incident and sent the guard away, a good deal more polite to him than she'd been with Jove. She'd even gone so far as to apologize to him before he left. The healer wasn't turned away, either, but she'd remained distant and vaguely sullen as she was looked over. There were a few things that needed tending as she was still fresh from a heated battle, but other than a few good cuts and bruises, she was cleared and left on her own.

Once she'd sent her armor off to be tended to, she cleaned herself up and settled at her desk to start work on her report. Unfortunately, she didn't get much done before the whispering in her head distracted her, leaving her sitting there, staring down at the parchment as if dozing while sitting upright.

[weatherthestorm]

It was the companions who told him what happened with Samson and the temple. Not everyone seemed happy, Solas and Morrigan the most unhappy of the bunch. Jove was sympathetic. He wasn't happy about what Elareth had done either. He wasn't happy at all these days but that seemed to be his lot in life right now.

He got the ravens out and ordered the army to come home. No reason for them to stay out there now that they had accomplished their goal. While the Inquisitor rested, he tended to everything else that needed tending. When that was done he had it all written up in reports to bring to her.

If he was a cowardly man he would have sent a page with the reports. Instead, he bundled them together and walked the stairs to her room. Maker he hated this walk. He used to enjoy it and the sense of anticipation that filled him. Now it was a sense of longing and regret.

He knocked sharply on the door and waited.